Domestic Adoption
- Category Overview
There are various ways to adopt domestically from Southern California including
foster care, kinship adoption, and infant adoption. Domestic kinship adoption
involves the adoption of a child by a relative or one with a prior relationship
to the birth parent. For more information regarding foster care adoption, please
refer to “that section of the website.”
Domestic infant adoptions constitute most domestic adoptions. Approximately
14,000 women in the United States voluntarily relinquish their babies every
year. Infant adoptions constitute about 15% of all non-step-parent adoptions
each year and involve the birth parent’s voluntary surrender of the infant. In
some cases, the birth parent(s) selects or has selected the adoptive parents.
Most domestic infant adoptions are administered through licensed adoption
agencies. Potential adoptive parents may also seek a private attorney to assist
in the process.
As Christians, adoption is a life-long commitment to parent a child in need. It
is an opportunity to teach, share, and model the Gospel before a child who may
not otherwise be exposed to the Word. As God has adopted us as believers into
His kingdom, similarly, Christian parents can demonstrate His character as our
loving Heavenly Father through adoption. Adoptive parents have the joy of
experiencing the blessings that God promises to parents and being reminded of
the Gospel everyday.
- Requirements / Qualifications
To adopt, the adoptive parent(s) must meet criteria set by the state, the
adoption agency, the birth parent(s), and his, her, or their own requirements.
In California, the adoptive parent must be at least ten years older than the
child. If the child is a stepchild, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, or first
cousin, and, if the adoptive parent is married or is adopting jointly with his
or her spouse, then the ten year requirement does not apply. California also
requires informed consent from the birth parents (if living), the child’s
custodian or guardian, and the spouse of the adopting parent (if married). Even
after giving consent, the birth parent has thirty days to revoke and request
that the child be returned to him/her. In an agency adoption, consent is final
and may only be rescinded by mutual consent of the birth and adoptive parents.
Consent may not be required in certain circumstances (e.g. consent from a
presumed father is not required).
The adoption agency through which parents adopt will also impose certain
requirements that vary from agency to agency. Some may have more stringent
requirements, for example, specifying certain economic conditions. Other
agencies do not accept applicants from unmarried individuals. Even if single
applicants apply, adoption agencies, and even birth parents, may prioritize a
couple’s application over a single’s application. Single men especially may face
more barriers in their attempt to adopt.
The birth parent(s) and adoptive parent(s) may also impose other personal
criteria and have the right to do so. Some birth parents prefer that the
adoptive family be of a particular ethnicity and/or religion. Others may even
request that the adoptive parent(s) practice a particular profession.
Additionally, the potential adoptive parents may impose their own limitations in
choosing the child such as gender, age of the child, and/or health.
- Process
Prospective adoptive parent(s) need to be informed and prepared for the adoption
process. Steps that should be considered and expected include:
- Prayerful consideration as to whether the Lord has called you and your family to adopt.
- Education of yourself and your family members.
- Decisions about what type of adoption you want pursue.
- Planning ways to handle adoption expenses.
- Careful selection of an adoption agency/facilitator and/or attorney.
- Completing an agency application form.
- Attending an agency orientation class.
- Meeting with a social worker for a Home/Family study assessment (3-4 meetings) -
State law requires that all prospective adoptive parents undergo a home study or
“family study.” The home study process involves educating and preparing the
prospective parents as well as information gathering about them. This step can
take up to ten months to complete, depending on agency waiting lists and
training requirements. Not only will the prospective adoptive parents gather
information about their own family, but they will also better understand
adoption from the perspective of all those involved. (ednote: consider moving
this to its own section, because of its length and detail?)
- Home inspection.
- Developing a Portfolio/Scrapbook.
- Pre-adoption and parenting classes.
- Matching with or locating a child.
- Preparation for your child's arrival.
- Petition to adopt.
- Finalizing the adoption.
- Child is placed in your home!
- Post-adoption services and education.
The length of time to adopt from start to finish may be unpredictable and can range from a few months to over two years. The waiting period varies greatly depending on the characteristics of the child a family is looking for, timing of the family's home study, and birth parents' choices of adoptive parents. Sometimes, placement can occur directly
from the hospital after the baby’s birth, or occur after the baby goes to interim care, and later to your home.
- Financial Considerations
Adoption, even domestic adoption, is not without its financial costs. The cost
of adopting domestically can range from $5,000 to $40,000 or more, depending on
the agency or facilitator and state laws regarding allowable expenses. An amount
between $10,000 and $15,000 is common. Some costs are universal, i.e., costs
that are incurred for every type of adoption, while others costs are
adoption-specific expenses, i.e., costs that are associated with a particular
type of adoption. These adoption-specific expenses are in addition to the
universal expenses.
Universal expenses include home study expenses and legal fees. Home studies for
foster care children generally do not require fees from the potential adoptive
parents. Even if there are fees, the charges are relatively low, ranging from
$300 to $500, and may be reimbursable once the child is adopted from foster
care. On the other hand, charges for home studies for domestic infant adoptions
are much higher, ranging from $1,000 to $3,000. The charge is imposed by the
private agency or certified social worker in private practice. This fee may also
include other services, for example, an application fee.
Legal fees are another universal expense for domestic adoptions since all
adoptions must be finalized in a court. Costs are incurred for court document
preparation ($500 - $2,000) and legal representation ($2,500 - $12,000).
Adoption expenses also range according to the type of adoption. Foster care
adoption costs anywhere from $0 to $2,500, including attorney's fees and
traveling expenses. Domestic infant adoption is much more expensive. If the
potential adoptive parents work with a licensed private agency adoption, the
costs can range from $5,000 to $40,000. This includes fees charged by the
agency, home study, birth parent counseling, and social work services involved
in matching a child to a prospective family. If potential adoptive parents
choose not to work with an agency, independent adoptions can range from $8,000
to $40,000 or more. The average cost of independent adoptions is $10,000 to
$15,000. This may include medical expenses for the birth mother (as allowed by
law), separate legal fees for representing adoptive and birth parents, any
allowable fees for advertising, and/or additional medical expenses where there
are birth complications. State regulations may limit these costs. Potential
adoptive parents may also consider facilitated or unlicensed adoptions where
costs are equivalent to those of privately licensed agencies.
Despite the many costs associated with adoption, resources to reduce costs are
also available. The federal government provides tax credits for "qualifying
expenses," which include reasonable and necessary adoption fees, court costs,
attorney fees, traveling expenses (including amounts spent for meals and lodging
while away from home), and other expenses directly related to and for which the
principal purpose is the legal adoption of an eligible child. These qualifying
expenses can be subtracted from your tax liability (i.e., taxes owed on your
taxable income). An eligible child must be under 18 years old, or be physically
or mentally incapable of caring for him or herself. An adoptive parent of a
special needs child may qualify for additional tax credits. Subsidies and
reimbursements are also available if the adopted child is older, has
disabilities, belongs to a minority group, or must be placed with siblings. In
such situations, the adoptive parents may be reimbursed for home study fees,
travel expenses to see the child, and attorneys’ fees. Moreover, subsidies may
be available to help adoptive parents pay for the ongoing care of children with
special physical, mental, or emotional needs. States may also provide tax
credits although such credits may be restricted to foster care alone. Additional
resources that may reduce adoption costs can come from the National Endowment
for Financial Education (www.nefe.org/adoption/default.htm), the National
Adoption Foundation (www.nafadopt.org), or Employer-Provided Adoption Benefits
(www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_benefi.cfm).
As mentioned above, some adoption-specific expenses, like those incurred in an
independent adoption, may be limited by state regulations. California requires
that birth parents request payment for expenses in writing including services
related to adoption, medical or hospital care for birth mother or child,
attorney's fees, counseling fees, and living expenses. However, birth parents
cannot require payments that exceed "reasonable maternity-related and living
expenses." A birth mother is also prohibited from receiving payment for expenses
if it is contingent on giving consent, she does not intend to consent or
complete adoption, or she receives payment from more than one adoptive family.
California also requires a full accounting report from the birth parent,
including receipts for expenses paid.
- Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to use an agency for domestic adoption?
What is the difference between an “open” and “closed” adoption?
Can the birth parents take the child back and rescind adoption?
What kind of information about the birth parent can be accessed?
Do I have to use an agency for domestic adoption?
Adoptive parents are not required to use an agency in domestic adoption. The
means for adoption include use of a licensed private agency, an unlicensed,
facilitating agency, or an independent attorney. Due to regulations established
by the state and other licensing standards, domestic adoptions with licensed
private agencies involve the most amount of oversight. Local agencies can help
adoptive parents understand the adoption laws in their state. In choosing to use
a private agency, birth parents are required to surrender and terminate their
parental rights and may place the child for foster care and/or adoption. Private
agencies also provide adoptive parents guidance as expenses are predictable and
can cost up to $40,000 or more. The agency coordinates between both adoptive
parents to identify their child profile and determine the level of ‘openness’
and to assist the birth parents with finding a match for their child according
to their preferences. Facilitated adoptions with unlicensed agencies involve the
least amount of state regulation and oversight. Depending on the state,
facilitators can vary from unlicensed agencies to single individuals and also
serve to assist in the adoption process. Expectant birth parents have greater
liberty in selecting the adoptive family. Thus, the adoption match is subject to
birth parents’ preferences including age, employment, family status, and other
subjective characteristics. While birth parents are generally required to
relinquish their rights, situations may vary according to State law. The birth
parent involvement and access to the child’s family history can vary depending
on the facilitator and the preferences of the parties involved. Unlicensed
services may involve an increased financial and/or emotional risk for adoptive
and birth families. Expenses are regulated by State laws but may cost as much or
more than licensed privacy agency adoptions. The child, especially an infant
child, may have health issues and concerns due to the birth parent’s prenatal
care and genetics. The unlicensed, facilitated adoption process can be extensive
depending on the situations and the parties involved. Independent adoptions with
an attorney generally do not involve as much oversight as adoptions with
licensed agencies. These adoptions must also comply with State laws and
regulations and the attorney(s) must adhere to the standards of the State's Bar
Association. In some states, private attorneys cannot be involved in the
"finding" and "matching" phases of an adoption, but are limited to finalizing
the legal part of the adoption in court once the match has taken place. In
California, the state acknowledges independent adoptions, but not all states
will. A unique feature of independent adoption allows for birth and adoptive
families to have direct contact with one another often allowing for exchange of
medical and family history. Again, while birth parents are generally required to
relinquish their rights, situations may vary according to State law.
Additionally, expectant birth parents have greater liberty in selecting the
adoptive family and the adoption match is subject to birth parents’ preferences.
Other variables in independent adoptions include the range of costs and attorney
fees, health of the child, and length of time to find a potential adoption match
and placement.
What is the difference between an “open” and “confidential/closed” adoption?
Within domestic adoption, there are several different types of adoption relationships between
the birth/expectant parents and the adoptive parents. Potential adoptive parents
need to consider the type of long-term relationship that will be best for their
family and the child. Adopting parents should also understand that the
birth/expectant parents also consider the type of relationship they want to have
with the adoptive family and the child. The degree of openness in the adoption
relationship is determined in advance and is part of an adoption agreement
between the expectant parents and adoptive parents. These adoption relationships
are described as open, semi-open, or closed/confidential.
Considerations in determining whether to have an open, semi-open, or
closed/confidential adoption:
• When and how much to tell a child about his or her birth family.
• If and how to involve him or her in that relationship.
• At what age should a child be included in contact with his or her birth
family?
• What happens if one party decides to break off all contact?
• What will the birth parents' role be in the child's life?
• How will your child explain his or her relationship with birth relatives to
his or her peers?
• How will you handle other adopted siblings who have different levels of
openness in their adoptions?
Common Elements of Open Adoption
1 The expectant parents meet potential adoptive families before making their
selection.
2 The birth and adoptive families fully disclose identifying information (names
and addresses) at the appropriate time.
3 There may be ongoing contact, such as attending the birth of the child,
attending physician visits together, visiting the home, gathering as extended
family members during special occasions, etc.
4 There is direct correspondence between the families.
5 The families contact each other directly by telephone. 6 There are
face-to-face meetings during the child's lifetime.
Generally, adoptive parents in an open adoption accept birthparent participation
as a way to enhance their parenting and the life of their child, not to diminish
it. They should be confident enough to say "no" to birthparents without fear of
jeopardizing their relationship with the birth family.
Birthparents who do well in open adoptions view their role not as parents, but
as people who are very special to the family. They are accepting of the entire
adoptive family and build a relationship centered on what is best for the child.
These birthparents are typically mature individuals who understand the need for
boundaries. Often they are goal-oriented, looking for achievement in a direction
other than raising a family. Open adoption is most easily understood in the
context of an "extended family" relationship.
Every adoption has circumstances that help to define the parameters that will be
best for the participants. Children thrive when the circumstances that prompted
the adoption decision for their lives are shared with them to their fullest.
Relationships with some degree of openness seem to give adoptive parents the
best opportunity to answer their children's questions most effectively. In open
adoption plans, children grow knowing that they are loved by their family
members—the parents who adopted them and the parents who gave them life.
Advantages: Everyone involved in an open adoption communicates directly, without
a third-party (mediator or agency). This plan allows both families to nurture
their relationship as it naturally develops. Information is shared more easily
in an open adoption. Disadvantages: Sometimes adoptive parents and birthparents
are uncomfortable with the level and type of birth family participation in the
life of the child. There is also the possibility that the differing family
styles and cultures may cause discomfort.
Additional Resources
• Pros:
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadoptablefactpros.cfm.
• Cons:
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadoptablefactcons.cfm.
• American Association of Open Adoption Agencies.
www.openadoption.org/.
• Minnesota/Texas Adoption Research Project. Information on a study of openness
in adoption since 1985.
http://fsos.cehd.umn.edu/projects/mtarp/About_Us.html.
• Post adoption Contact Agreements Between Birth and Adoptive Families and laws
for each State on open adoption.
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/cooperative.cfm.
• Open Adoption Resources and Support.
http://www.openadoptioninsight.org/.
Common Elements of Semi-open Adoption
1 The expectant parents choose a family from written, non-identifying profiles.
2 An agency or third party mediates the contact between the parties before and
after the birth.
3 Birth parents and adoptive parents know each other only by their first names.
4 Adoptive parents may be present at the birth and may have met the birthparents
before the birth.
5 All correspondence is sent through the agency or third party.
6 Post-placement meetings are arranged and supervised by the mediator.
7 Adoptive parents often share the child's pictures and letters with the
birthparents, but may also include gifts, videotapes, etc.
With open adoptions, both families have the opportunity to develop a
relationship over time. A semi-open adoption gives everyone the freedom to
communicate with the assistance of a trained mediator. Perhaps the greatest
advantage of this plan lies in the area of sharing information. In a semi-open
adoption, current information can be passed on with ease, over time. A child's
adoption story continues beyond birth, and his or her questions can be answered
as they arise. However, at times, adoptive families and birth families feel
"married" to the third party.
Common Elements of Closed/Confidential Adoptions
1 Expectant parents request that the agency choose their child's adoptive
family.
2 Birth and adoptive parents do not disclose any identifying information (full
names and addresses).
3 The adoptive family receives information about the birth family's medical
history up to the point of placement. There is no planned, ongoing sharing of
social and medical information after the adoption is finalized.
4 There is no contact between the adoptive family and birth family, such as
sharing of photos and letters, or visits.
5 Access to finding a birthparent is limited by law and must be by mutual
agreement at the time the child is of legal age. The adult child must contact
the state central adoption registry.
Advantages: Total confidentiality is legally provided for adoptive parents and
birthparents that desire this.
Disadvantages: In this form of adoption, there is no ongoing exchange of
information, other than a court-ordered exchange in the case of a medical
emergency. As an adoptive child grows, he or she can have questions that remain
unanswered. Confidential adoptions might make it difficult to gain needed
information.
Can the birth parents take the child back and rescind adoption?
The termination of the birth mother’s parental rights is effective upon her
execution of the Statement of Relinquishment and Waiver of Rights documents,
executed after the birth of the child and being discharged from the hospital.
Once these executed documents are filed with the Department of Social Services,
there is a window of ten days where the birth mother can revoke her consent.
According to Bethany Christian Services, the likelihood for a birth mother to
revoke her consent to place her child for adoption occurs 1 out of 40 cases.
The termination of the birth father’s parental rights is subject to his presumed
or alleged fatherhood. The presumed father is characterized and defined by his
marriage to the birth mother or by his reference on the child’s birth
certificate. The termination of a presumed birth father’s parental rights is the
same as the birth mother’s rights. The alleged father is defined and recognized
by an affidavit or declaration by the birth mother. Legal documents are used to
locate the birth father and the termination of the alleged birth father’s
parental rights is effective upon his execution of a document waiving his
parental rights.
In a direct placement through private adoption, after consent has been given,
the birth parents have thirty days to submit a signed revocation and request the
return of the child or sign a waiver of the right to revoke consent.
What kind of information about the birth parent(s) can be accessed?
Some agency-facilitated adoptions provide information about the birth parent(s)
including drug and alcohol exposure, medical history, biological medical
conditions such as birth defects, seizure disorders, cleft lip, and mental
health history such as depression or schizophrenia. - Misperceptions and
Challenges
10 Misconceptions of Adoptive Parents
1. The birth mother just doesn’t love her child.
2. Adoption is the “easy way out.”
3. The birth mother will never get over the grief of relinquishing a child.
4. The birthparent will come back in a few years and take the child back.
5. Kids will get confused in open adoption.
6. Birth parents feel they cannot love an adopted child like they could love a
biological child. (ednote: 'they cannot love an adopted child' - they meaning
the adoptive parents? should clarify)
7. Only childless couples adopt.
8. Adopted children will never really attach to their adoptive families.
9. Adoption is too expensive.
10. Every couple adopts for the same reason.
The birth mother just doesn’t love her child.
In reality, there are many choices available available to a birthmother.
Carrying a child through pregnancy and then placing that child for adoption
actually shows a lot of love. Other choices she could have made include the
termination of her pregnancy.
Adoption is the “easy way out”.
Just as parenting is not always easy, there is nothing easy about making an
adoption plan. Grief and loss are part of every relinquishment and adoption, and
they are never “easy” to deal with. The role of the pregnancy counselor is to
help the expectant mother make the best decision for her child. “Best” does not
always equal “easy”.
The birthmother will never get over the grief of relinquishing a child.
Working though grief and loss is a process that takes time. It is important for
the birth mother to have a trained counselor to help her through the process,
which varies from individual to individual.
In a domestic infant adoption, the birthparent will come back in a few years
and take the child back.
The termination of rights of a birth parent is a legal process eliminating the
option of a birth parent returning for his or her child. It is also an emotional
process, and birth parents who opt for adoption should not disrupt it.
Kids will get confused in open adoption.
Children are smarter that we give them credit for. They know who is there with
them every day. It is not healthy for the child to be denied his or her history,
whether it is a medical history or a family history.
Birth parents feel they cannot love an adopted child like they could love a
biological child.
Talk to any adoptive parent and they will tell you that this is completely
false. Parents will go through a variety of emotions with their biological
children and their adopted children.
Only childless couples adopt.
This may have been true years ago when rules were stricter. However, this has
changed. Many couples with children are adopting because they have love to
share, and they see the great need so many children have for permanent families.
Adopted children will never really attach to their adoptive families.
While there may be issues that children have to deal with, especially if they
are adopted as older children, experience shows us that these children can and
do attach to their new families. Every experience is unique and reflects a
history of the child.
Adoption is too expensive.
There are fees for services that are incurred by all adoption agencies, and this
is why choosing a not-for-profit agency is important. Tax credits and grants are
also available for many types of adoptions.
Every couple adopts for the same reason.
Circumstances and motivations may be different for adoptive families, but the
end result is the same: children find a home and a family – forever.
When considering adoption, it is common to fear the both practical and emotional
preparations and needs.
1 Is now the right time in my life to adopt?
2 Will I able to bond with and love my adopted child as if he/she was my own?
How will my biological children respond?
3 Will my family members love my adopted child as if he/she was my own? How will
other children and people treat my adopted child?
4 How do I explain and deal with interracial issues? How will I teach him/her
about their ethnicity and culture?
5 Will I be strong enough to handle my child’s health issues? Will I be strong
enough to handle my child’s behavioral issues?
Every adoption is a different and unique testimony of God’s sovereignty. We are
all sinners, and thus our hearts and minds are easily tempted to doubt and fear.
But as Christian parents, your commitment to parent a child in need is a
testimony of God’s sovereignty, strength, and glory. Wisdom cannot be found in
man’s strength, but in the fear of the Lord. With God in control, believers can
testify of God’s faithfulness and trust that each adoption is a blessing from
above. Please refer to the testimonials and stories of other adoptive families.
- Next Steps
There are several adoption agencies that provide assistance with domestic infant
adoption. However, many do not share the same or even similar doctrine as
Cornerstone. James 1:27 Ministry is pleased to recommend 3 domestic adoption
resources.
Ms. Erin Schoenwald
Bethany Christian Services
16700 Valley View Ave., Suite 210
La Mirada, CA 90638
714-994-0500
eschoenwald@bethany.org
www.bethany.org
Ms. Becky Wills
Hope 4 Kids
34071 La Plaza, Suite 200
Dana Point, CA 92629
949-496-9430
www.hope4kids.com
Ted R. Youmans, Esq.
505 South Villa Real Suite 112
Anaheim Hills, CA 92807
714-408-2900 (w), 714-293-5489 (c) 714-876-0061 (f)
tyoumans@acal.org
